All That and a Bag of Mail: Now that's a BGID, Derby Style

On a fairly regular basis I get e-mails from American soldiers serving overseas in war zones. I know this because the e-mails come branded at the top notifying me that they are unclassified. Which means that someone has presumably scanned them (or a computer program has). Such was the case with a recent e-mail from 1st Lt. Jason Lopez, an LSU fan serving in Iraq. Lt. Lopez e-mailed as follows:

"Clay --

I was frequenting one of the local websites that I use to keep myself up to date on LSU football when I came across this article. Being a good officer, my buddy Davis suggested that we nominate this young Soldier for the Beaver Pelt Trader of the Week Award. I tend to agree. What say you?

Thanks again for all the outstanding work. Your columns help the time to pass a little faster here in Iraq. Take care!"

Please read this article linked above about an LSU fan who also serves as a guard at Arlington's Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. He spent most of the national championship game holding his rifle at full attention. Then, stick your hand out palms up, at a 90 degree angle for the rest of the time you read this column.

Pretty hard, huh?

This story is superb and leaves no doubt: Benton Thames is our beaver pelt trader of the week.

On to All That and a Bag of Mail:

Christine Cousins writes:

Hey Clay: I attempted to represent at the KY Derby this year but being a neophyte reader I have not perfected my 'you can't see me.' I was however able to recognize a BGID and thought you would appreciate the attached photo of BGIDDS (Derby Style)! Please take note of the Mint Julep and seersucker!"

Searching for a perfect image of a beard getting it done (BGID), then look no further! (Provided to CBSSports.com)

Now, that's a beard. BGID, indeed. This guy could go straight from the horse race to commanding a regiment of cavalry under J.E.B. Stuart. That's such a good beard that I'm willing to overlook the tragic flaw of the ClayNation hand sign, namely your thumb isn't extended. You were close, but right there you are rocking the peace sign.

As an aside, at some point the average female reader of the ClayNation column became hot. I'm not sure when this happened, but I'd put the average attractiveness of my female readers up against any Internet sports columnist (who doesn't really write very much about sports) on earth.

When the column began almost three years ago the only readers who came up and talked to me were, in the words of my friend Tardio, "Dudes who rolled out to the bar solo." Now, odds are it's a hot girl and Tardio's begging me to introduce him. Seriously.