Futurepedia: The NBA's love affair with Oklahoma City - SPiN

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following excerpts are from a sports almanac published in 2057 that chronicles topics from the past 60 years. Look for it in five decades from the shelves of Wal-TargetMart for $199.99.

LOCATIONS: Oklahoma City

In the 21st century, no American city has held as much sway with the NBA as Oklahoma City.

2005-2007: Because Hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans, the city's Hornets franchise relocated to Oklahoma City for most of its home games for two seasons. The Hornets eventually move back to New Orleans, because players and ownership felt like they needed more of a commitment than just being allowed to leave their toothbrush and a draw of clothes over each night.

2008: A federal judge rules that the Seattle Supersonics can break their lease with KeyArena, and an ownership group led by Clay Bennett makes good on its promise to move the team to Oklahoma City. To make team members feel less homesick, Oklahoma City management arranges to double the number of Starbucks locations around town, although many of the new locations are merely facades, and stores sell little more than cups of sawdust.

2010: The city of New Orleans is so mired in reconstruction that it can no longer support its Hornets franchise. Hornets re-relocate to Oklahoma City. Unfortunately, ownership had been so busy trying to pull this off for three years that they did not realize they were beaten to the punch by the Sonics.

2011: NBA schedule-makers finally figure out a schedule that allows O.C. Sonics and O.C. Hornets to have their home games on alternating dates. In the previous season, on nights when the Sonics had dibs, Hornets were forced to play their games at a local YMCA. Due to large demand of YMCA courts, 14 of those were played as half-court games.

2015: NBA finally sheds its poor image from 2007 and 2008 All-Star games in Las Vegas and New Orleans with squeaky-clean game played in Oklahoma City. Halftime highlight is that former NFL star Pacman Jones announces he will invest $5 million in his new children's charity, "The Make it a Rainbow Future Fund."

2018: Commissioner David Stern announces his retirement, and that he will set up a retirement home for himself and former NBA executives in Oklahoma City. He appoints Isiah Thomas as retirement home's social activities director.

2024-2026: During a two-season lockout of players in contract dispute, the O.C. Sonics post back-to-back undefeated championship seasons thanks to superior engineering of scab replacement android players -- the Oklahoma City Slambot 3000s. Owners are relieved when they lockout ends, because they made less money selling replica robots than they did selling player-endorsed basketball shoes. No team that sported a robot model that wore basketball shoes during the lockout sported better than a 30-win season.

2039: The O.C. Sonics and O.C. Hornets each post 75-win dream seasons. Their Western Conference finals showdown heads to an inevitable Game 7, which is so evenly matched that the game stretches for NBA record three days' worth of overtimes. Hornets finally win on clutch free-throw shooting after lead referee remembers he was supposed to throw the game in the Hornets favor as a favor to the mob.

2045: The O.C. Sonics and O.C. Hornets threaten to move back to their former cities unless Oklahoma City builds a state-of-the-art arena that placed two basketball courts side-by-side so that teams can play games simultaneously, and thus double their ticket prices. The arena is built with a retractable roof so that playing surface can be converted to baseball diamond, because the New York Yankees make it known that they're prepared to leave the Bronx if upgrades are not made to Alex Rodriguez Stadium.

2047: Oklahoma State University athletic director Mike Gundy is enraged by state legislature, which plans to pass a bill that would fund Sonics-Hornets Super Stadium while also reverting state's college student-athletes to amateur status, rather than the professionally salaried status they have enjoyed for a decade. "Talk to me!" Gundy famous fumes about being left out of the loop in the decision-making process. "I'm a man! I'm 80!"

2052: University of Oklahoma scientists identify foreign particles in drinking water that make residents thirst for NBA action. Once the particle is removed from water, local residents stop caring about NBA. Sonics and Hornets return to their former cities. No harm, no foul.