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You've got to admit that the Atlanta Hawks were the official "temporary tattoo" of the 2008 NBA playoffs.
Face it. When Atlanta forced Game 7 in their first-round series against Boston, you embraced the Hawks just like the novelty you peel apart from a Cracker Jack box. For a day or two it looked cute on your cheek. It showed you supported in spirit the idea that a pebble could stop the course of the Celtics' comet.
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| Despite three playoff victories, Mike Bibby and company couldn't revive the Atlanta sports scene. (Getty Images) |
But that's OK. It's nice when the bet on the underdog pays off, but you can't ... actually, I shouldn't be using any "dog" analogies when it comes to Atlanta sports.
The people who I'm sure are most heartbroken are all those fans in Atlanta who were ready to return to Philips Arena if the Hawks advanced.
Then again, it has always been my understanding that the vast majority of people who showed up for Atlanta Hawks games are bankers and insurance agents who got free corporate tickets from work.
To test my theory on the makeup of Hawks Nation, I polled my Atlanta-area sports fan friends about the buzz from the past few weeks. Since my best four responses were from three guys and a gal, I'll present their answers Dating Game-style:
Did Atlanta get swept up when the Hawks didn't get swept?
Bachelor No. 1: "I watched parts of a couple games on TV, which is two more than I watched the entire season -- does that mean I got swept up in it? I also always checked the score on the Web within a day or two of the game ending. I would have watched Game 7 but I forgot it was on; well, that and the fact that we had two My Name Is Earl's queued up on the Tivo we needed to catch up on."
Bachelor No. 2: "I'm sure there are passionate Hawks fans out there, but I've yet to meet one. I've been to a couple of games and seen lots of corporate types and not many true basketball fans. It creates a rather sterile home court advantage. If I were the Celtics, I would be worried because they will meet far more harsh crowds that what they saw in Atlanta."
Bachelor No. 3: "Was it worth the trek downtown to watch? Nah. If they played farther north, I would go. I went to a bunch of games when I lived downtown ... because I could always get free tickets."
Hawks Bachelorette: "I know no one who cares about the Hawks. LOL, I only know anything about them because my company occasionally gets tix for games and they usually have box seats. I think your theory might be right. I don't think I've even seen bumper stickers for them around town."
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Talk about the passion
So what does this prove? Other than that I get off on acting like a game show host.
It's not breaking news that the Atlanta Hawks are hard-luck orphans no one loves. The team should be celebrating its high-water mark since the last playoff run in 1999. But evidently its future is so bright that general manager Billy Knight announced on Wednesday that he's walking the plank.
We know all pro athletes are mercenaries. What about the fans who only show up when they're bribed with free tickets? That can't be good karma.
Actually, I don't blame the fans. This is all a logical end to the monster that the NBA created.
The league emphasizes three things: 1) Star personalities; 2) Playoff excitement; and 3) Corporate moolah.
There is no such thing as a regular-season NBA rivalry, such as what the Dallas Cowboy and Washington Redskins have, or how the Yankees and Red Sox go at one another.
All famous NBA rivalries are based on famous playoff showdowns. The closest thing you can call a regular-season NBA rivalry -- the Lakers vs. the Kings -- is still based on animosity from playoff warfare.
So until the next Hawks GM trades for Kobe, LeBron and Yao, Atlanta is just one small corporate cog in the NBA money machine.
The Atlanta operation is so hyper-professional, it becomes amateur hour. They might as well make their motto: "Come see our blue-collar millionaires. Won't cost ya nothin'!"
Fear of flying?
The bright side is that the Hawks are young, and maybe their energy from this run will turn into some Earl-quality karma.
But one last question, Atlanta. What is up with your feather fetish? Three of your pro franchises are named after birds: Hawks, Falcons and Thrashers.
Maybe your fate can best be described by feather-brained Forest Gump's definition of karma: "I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze. But ... maybe both is happening at the same time."
So until Forest and Earl meet in a Karma Krackdown steel cage match, Atlanta fans just have to be satisfied in seeing the feathers fly in the postseason once or twice a decade or so.
Right now, the order of the cosmos demands that you get your tailfeathers handed to you.