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The NBA Draft is always such a spectacle. Months -- or in the case of Greg Oden, years -- of hype that lead up to a night of awkward looking youngsters in fancy suits, learning where they'll be forced to spend the next chapter of their life. And what better way to sum up this convoluted process than with some pretty poetry?
So please make yourself a cup of green tea and put on some relaxing Japanese background music, as you peruse the following list of NBA draft-related haikus. Or as I like to call them, Draftkus.
Atlanta Hawks
They did not screw up
Too bad the new uniforms
Look ridiculous
Boston Celtics
Brandon Roy. Jeff Green.
No thanks. Try Telfair and Ray.
One is old. One sucks.
Charlotte Bobcats
Traded a Tar Heel
For a dude with damaged knee
Michael are you there?
Chicago Bulls
Walt Clyde Frazier called
Joakim, he would like to get
His tuxedo back
Cleveland Cavaliers
Jordan had Pippen
Shaq had Kobe and D Wade
Bron still has poop soup
Dallas Mavericks
Colonoscopy
Cuban got two. From his Doc
And from Golden State
Denver Nuggets
Better chemistry
Will get them more victories
Coach Karl needs tats
Detroit Pistons
De-troit. Bas-ket-ball.
Don't they know that already
What a silly chant
Golden State Warriors
What is up their sleeve
Do they keep Wright and Ellis
Or shop on Yi bay
Houston Rockets
Not quite good enough
Failed to get any better
Poor Tracy and Yao
Indiana Pacers
What a funky name
Stanko Barac. Euro star
Or Outkast record
Los Angeles Clippers
Back to being crap
After one fantastic year
Now that's more like it
Los Angeles Lakers
GM Mitch Kupchak
Looks just like John Malkovich
Only much taller
Memphis Grizzlies
Conley is a stud
Also best buds with Oden
That can't hurt either
Miami Heat
Did not make much noise
Landing Bibby and Artest
Would take care of that
Milwaukee Bucks
You had to take Yi
Great. Now you've made China mad.
Way to go cheese heads
Minnesota Timberwolves
Just trade him or not
Waiting for a miracle
Not gonna happen
New Jersey Nets
Drafted a pot head
Just like every other team
But this one got caught
New Orleans Hornets
Julian looks good
As Kansas guys often do
Suck it Krzyzewski
New York Knicks
Good job Isaiah
Randolph is a total beast
With the ball and bong
Orlando Magic
Had pick fourty four
Traded him for pick sixty
What's the freaking point
Philadelphia 76ers
Plain named Jason Smith
And ye old Thaddeus Young
Those dudes need nicknames
Phoenix Suns
Will they add KG
Can they ever beat the Spurs
Man it's hot out there
Portland Trailblazers
Great night for Portland
Added Oden. Traded Zach.
Celebration time
Sacramento Kings
Took a big white dude
Usually turns out as well
As Britney weddings
San Antonio Spurs
Tiago Splitter
Kinky sexual act? Or
Future star from Spain
Seattle Supersonics
Got the best player
Added his future wingman
Will they need U-Hauls
Toronto Raptors
The Atlantic champs
Still it's silly that they're named
For Jurassic Park
Utah Jazz
Added a shooter
Which is all fine and dandy
Still won't beat the Spurs
Washington Wizards
Lucked out with Nick Young
Perfect insurance in case
Agent Zero bolts