CHICAGO -- Whoever you are, be scared of the Chicago Bears.
If you root for New Orleans, be afraid. The Bears are good enough to embarrass the Saints next week in the NFC Championship Game.
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| What are you going to get from Rex Grossman? Nobody knows. (AP) |
If you're simply planning to watch the Bears on television, be afraid. Some people will tell you the Bears are exciting, but the Bears aren't exciting. They're excruciating. Watching Chicago, which beat Seattle 27-24 on Sunday in a division playoff, is like watching one of those TV blooper reels. You don't know what or when, but any second something terrible is going to happen. The waiting gouges out your stomach.
Me, I'm just a member of the media -- but for a minute Sunday I was terrified. Bears quarterback Rex Grossman was standing in front of his locker, minutes after the game, and he was holding his dirty laundry. There was gross stuff in there, and Grossman wanted to throw it into a bin in the middle of the locker room. I was in the way.
For an instant I understood what it feels like to cheer for the Bears, and it didn't feel good. My immediate happiness depended on Grossman's accuracy, and based on his performance over the previous 3 ½ hours, not to mention the previous 3 ½months, this could have gone either way. He heaved his nasty stuff near me, past me, into the bin.
Life was good. I was almost as thrilled as tailback Thomas Jones, standing one locker over. Jones walked up to Grossman, whose back was turned, and buried his face between Grossman's clavicles. Jones hugged Grossman for so long, it was awkward to watch. It's impossible to say what was going through either man's mind, but here's one guess:
Whew.
Bears kicker Robbie Gould, whose 49-yard field goal won it in overtime, is the headline but not the story. However long this season lasts for the Bears, Rex Grossman will be the story. A lot of Grossman, a little Devin Hester, and then everyone else fills in the gaps.
On Sunday, Gould filled in the gaps with a 41-yard field goal late in regulation that tied it and the 49-yarder that won it. Cedric Benson filled in the gaps with brutish running that got the Bears into position for both kicks. Defensive lineman Israel Idonije filled in the gaps by scaring the bejeesus out of Seattle's Ryan Plackemeier, inducing the 18-yard shank that produced the field position that led to Benson's running and Gould's kick.
But in and around those gaps were, and forever will be, this reality: Chicago can only win games if Grossman and Hester don't lose them first. Hester is a singular talent who set an NFL record this season with six returns for touchdowns, and he had a seventh TD called back Sunday because of an illegal block. But as scary-good as Hester is, he's just as scary-bad. He has 11 fumbles in 17 games and muffed three punts Sunday, including the one he returned for the disallowed touchdown. He was lucky to recover the other two. Teams don't know whether to kick it away from Hester or kick it right to him.
And compared to Grossman, Hester is a metronome. He's reliable. Boring.
Wherever your allegiance lies -- for, against or somewhere in between -- Grossman is hard on the eyes. Lots of players are like a car crash, but not this guy. Grossman is the head lying in the ditch. You want to turn away, but you can't. Because that head might just open its eyes and start singing Sinatra.
Grossman has had the best terrible season in NFL history. Or the worst great season. Overall he threw for 3,193 yards and 23 touchdowns in the regular season, and when he has been good, he has been terrific. A career passer rating of 90 or better will get a quarterback into the Hall of Fame. Grossman's rating has topped 90 in eight games this season, and he set a team record with seven games of 100 or better.
But when he is bad, he is awful. Grossman had 20 interceptions and eight fumbles, and he has had three games with a rating of 10.2 or worse. To understand how bad 10.2 is, here you go: Against Arizona in October, he was 14-for-37 for 144 yards, no TDs and four interceptions. That's a 10.2 passer rating. And he had two games worse than that.
Terrible, terrific ... on Sunday, Grossman was all of the above. He finished 21-for-38 for 282 yards, one touchdown and one interception. That produced a rating of 76.9, which is just below the NFL average. His 68-yard touchdown pass to Bernard Berrian in the first quarter was an absolutely beautiful throw. His 30-yard seam pass to Rashied Davis in overtime -- on third-and-10 -- was the play of the game, non-Gould division.
Otherwise, Grossman was mostly awful. He missed open receivers. He threw dumb passes. He lost a fumble when he cocked his arm to throw instead of protecting it under pressure, and toyed with other fumbles by pumping and faking on a cold, icy day. He should have been intercepted on the first drive, throwing a pass that went through cornerback Jordan Babineaux's hands and became a 37-yard gain for Davis.
And still Chicago beat a Seattle team that played smart, hard and well.
"The most important thing is we won," Grossman said. "I don't care how we do it."
Next up is New Orleans, with the winner going to the Super Bowl. If you're New Orleans, Chicago is the last team you want to play. Or the first team you want to play.