HockeyNotSoccer

Finally, CBS:

If I'm watching NCAA men's basketball, just what in the hell makes you think I care how Gwen Stefani's tranny doppelganger finds her "creativity" with HP?  (Is techno music, sampling, and nasal warbling "creative"?  No, really, I want to know.)

OK, I give up: I'm watching the glitch-and-glamour online broadcast of my beloved Tar Heels.  They look good.  But Washington State, I have advice:

Cougars: don't shoot any more 3's, please.  First, because it makes baby Jesus cry.  Second, because you are bad at it, apparently (I don't know anything about you except what I have seen in the last 30 minutes or so), and you need to get back into this game by scoring points, not missing threes.  Missed threes = long rebounds, which = fast breaks for UNC, which = you lose.

Please make a game of this.  Please.  I can't take two more days hearing how overrated UNC is because they keep blowing people away (how bizarro is this world we live in when a team like UNC thumps quality opponents and gets called "overrated," but UCLA looks like hammered-down dog-doo and sportswriters drool over the Bruins "amazing talent"??).  Please make this a close game.